Post your jokes and humor here.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Voodooo
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Is that a 1968 250? In 68 I had a 125cc two stroke by the same outfit. Loved it. Most wheelie prone bike on the road back then.
Couldn't wait until I would be able to move up to the 250. One day one of the kids got a Suzuki 250, pulled up the slip road in
a cloud of smoke and left the Sprint and me far behind.
Did I learn the lesson?
No. Next bike was a new 250 BSA in 1970 and stayed with the brit bikes ever more.
What a frightening admission of a terminally low IQ.
 
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A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of pounds for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted a £10 note and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten quid?" exclaimed the homeless man.

“Will you just spend it on riding your motorbike?” was the next question.

“Never owned or ridden a motorbike in my life” said the homeless man, by now getting rather puzzled by the conversation.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, motorbikes and sex."
 
Onder said:
Is that a 1968 250? In 68 I had a 125cc two stroke by the same outfit. Loved it. Most wheelie prone bike on the road back then.
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Yes it was a 1968. prettiest color scheme IMO.

You had the 2-stoke 125cc Rapido. The Sprint in 1968 was 250cc 4-stroke and increased to 350 in 1969. It would do wheelies.
 
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Post your jokes and humor here.
 
I was at medical the other day and after I the corpsman had taken my blood pressure and left the room, I overheard the doctor outside the door talking with another doctor who had walked up asking my doctor if he wanted to meet for lunch. My doctor replied that he had an appendectomy later on, that's when the doctor who had just walked up said, "oh can I sit in on that , I don't have a sign off for that yet". I was surprised to hear that.......although I guess it's not really that surprising when you think about it. Anyway I mentioned it to a co-worker and he said " well they don't call it a practice for nothing".....and that made me think of something I'd heard before " what do you call a medical student who graduated with a D average???? you call them Doctor" :eek:
 
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost.
Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans, and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"
Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.
"Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
 
Being as I was a Navy guy , I'd never heard this. Now that I'm working for the Army I've just seen this from on of the soldiers that is here in the hangar with us. It's a cadence our guys happen to be using this week.........it goes like this: Me and Superman got in a fight, I hit him in the head with some Kryptonite, I hit him so hard I busted his brain, and now I'm dating Lois Lane! Well, Me and Batman, we had one too, I hit him in the head with my left shoe, Right in the temple with my heel, And now I'm driving the Batmobile!
 
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.

Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.

Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.

His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?”
 
EstuaryBoy said:
Does an Italian Harley go: 'Pasta Pasta' instead of: 'Potato Potato'????

(Can it even get 'pasta' nother bike???)

On spaghetti junction!!!
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At one time Hogs (Harley Big Twins) were know as Rolls Kinardlys. Rolls pretty good down the hills but Kinardly get up them.
 
My friend who owns a pawn shop tells me one of the most common engagement rings they sell is fitted with the Kinardly diamond... Diamond so small you kinardly see it.
 
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