Post your jokes and humor here.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Voodooo
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I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful woman crying in the seat across from me. I moved over and asked her why she was crying.

"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.

I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cure me."

I asked what exactly was her problem. She said, "I'm a nymphomaniac, but I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys. You know, I do feel better. By the way, my name is Kim."

"Glad to meet you," I said. "My name is Bucky Goldstein."

~Stephen Wright
 
Johnnie came rushing into school one morning. “Teacher, teacher, Billie just had an accident on his bike, and the handlebar got stuck up his ass!” The teacher said “Johnny! You mean rectum!”, to which Johmmy replied, “Wrecked him, hell! It damn near killed him!”
 
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
At college in 1978, we lived in a 2-storey block that once was all male but now was girls and boys.
The two toilet/shower rooms both had urinals.
Some wag scratched out "vacant" and "engaged" from the toilet cubicles and replaced them with "flaps down" and "flaps up".
Still gives me a small grin.
 
Grandad said:
reminds me of another oldie but goody .....

" Darling does my arse look big in this ?? "

" Honey, all I can see is your arse !! "
Click to expand...
I heard the response on an actual TV ad (15-20 years ago) - "Yes. But it takes the focus off your face!"
I think it was "dare" chocolate milk

EDIT: Sorry - 80's, so more than 35 years ago :rolleyes: -
 
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