Post your jokes and humor here.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Voodooo
  • Start date Start date
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
Have you ever heard anything about the "Champ!."... It Was a Radio moment in our morning in my youth.

I snap I loose it!
Ever since I've been the champ.
 

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)​

1. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming…
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead
 
So... this fella calls up his buddy and says: hey did you know that chickens die after sex, and the friend says what ,,,, no they don't , then the fella says well... the one that I fuched did
 
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This was post #32 a long time ago - I told it to the (fake blonde) girl when getting my paper this morning....

A young Australian ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the colour of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humour!"

The ventriloquist, clearly embarrassed, begins to apologize, and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this! ....... I'm talking to that little shit on your knee!”
 
Mike40M said:
Here in Sweden it's quite common to hear jokes about our neighbours from Norway.
How many Norwegians is needed to change a faulty ceiling lamp bulb?
7. One standing on the table holding the bulb. 6 turning the table.
Click to expand...
As my maternal grandfather was Swedish and grandmother Norwegian I can say : “ dat vas a goot vun Mike ! “ - now I’m going to eat some geit ost .
 
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