Post your jokes and humor here.

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:D
 

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There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making Hardly Dangerous rider steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?", he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my bike had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in, and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?”
 
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Statement from Larry the Cat. Incumbent cat at Number 10:

"I would just like to say that I, for one, am very glad that Borris and Carrie
are not returning to Number 10 with that nasty yappy small dog"

Thank you
 
Last edited:
Perhaps you might do well with this cat at number 10?
 

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a bear walks into a bar . Bartender: what are yer having to drink Bruno?. Bear says : a rum.............................. and a Coke. Bartender: what’s with the big pause??
 
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