Publications Of History

That is one of the big problems of our society. There are too many incompetent imposters in relatively important jobs. The question should be asked about how he was recruited, what lies did he tell and who were his friends? We are supposed to live in a meritocracy, however the sycophants often rise above the genuine.

acotrel said:

That is one of the big problems of our society. There are too many incompetent imposters in relatively important jobs. The question should be asked about how he was recruited, what lies did he tell and who were his friends? We are supposed to live in a meritocracy, however the sycophants often rise above the genuine.

Click to expand...

Well you could always ask Marti Dunstan, then editor of Two Wheels. But Marti was an idiot. More interested in how his handle bar moustache looked in the photos than anything else.

It was very early days at Two Wheels. It was a split off from Four Wheels magazine.
Marti and Chris were playing in the sand pit together one day, when they got wind of
the new magazine and put their hands up for jobs.
Peter Fonda was the intended editor, but he was making movies at the time.

I actually love reading the old tests. A lost time where values actually meant something.
Even if written by incompetent idiots.
Jenny wonders why I sit in the office cackling my head off, aged and brown magazine
crumpling in my hands.
She thought I was in here earning us big money for more holidays.
Not more Commandos!!

Nater_Potater said:

I hope I have as much time and energy as you do when I get to be your age...

Click to expand...

Not sure who you might be referring to Nathan.
If it was me, I'm only 18 years old.
Jenny is 16.

Speaking of those olden days, I used to pump petrol etc after school and on weekends at the local Avalon (NSW) Shell Service Station. Jonh Hopkins, a 10 pound pommy tourist, was the mechanic and like a father to us, all of 27yrs old. He helped us fix our old and battered Nortons and keep them running. John was helping out on the driveway one Sunday afternoon filling a lady's car whilst smoking his Old Holburn rolly cigarette. The lady went right off at him. Saying nothing, he dropped the pump on the ground, came back with an empty IXL tin can which he put half a pint of petrol into from the pump, then dropped his cigarette in it. The cigarette just extinguished. He said, now do you feel better ma'am?

I still occasionally keep in touch with John, now close to 70yrs old. He rode Triumphs, BSA's etc back in England in the 60's. He never had two pennies to rub together whilst raising his two young girls, but would do anything to help us with our Nortons. I learnt a lot from John. Even what happens when you drop your cigarette into a can of petrol. But I never tried it myself!

John and the other mechanic Urn from Denmark, screwed a potato into the exhaust pipe of Morrie's (he owned the station) EH Holden. Morrie came back pissed from a "long" lunch at the RSL. Hopped in his car and after several attempts, it started with an enormous BANG!! Morrie didn't even notice and drove off home. We were pissing ourselves laughing!

But I digress. Sorry about that Les.

phil yates said:

Chris simply was not cut out for riding fast motorcycles. Doing or trying to do the Kwaka Mach III road test, I have a picture of him looking terrified at 5mph.

Click to expand...

If he was trying to turn, then looking terrified was valid...straight lines only on a Mach III

Pretty funny that a guy who was supposed to test motorcycles was such a sissy. Especially when we were all out there doing crazy stuff on our bikes...things we would never even think of trying today (well some of us anyway...Hobot).

phil yates said:

Not sure who you might be referring to Nathan.
If it was me, I'm only 18 years old.
Jenny is 16.

Click to expand...

phil yates said:

...like a father to us, all of 27yrs old.
...John, now close to 70yrs old.

Click to expand...

Okay, bear with me; John was like a father to you at 27. He's now close to 70. That means he was like a father to you about 40+ years ago.
Now, if we subtract that from your current age of 18, that means you were about negative 22 years old when John was acting daddy. Is that about right? I was never very good at word problems.

Oops. Almost forgot to say "Norton"!

Interesting. Now I'm confused :shock:

Nater_Potater said:

phil yates said:

Not sure who you might be referring to Nathan.
If it was me, I'm only 18 years old.
Jenny is 16.

Click to expand...

phil yates said:

...like a father to us, all of 27yrs old.
...John, now close to 70yrs old.

Click to expand...

Okay, bear with me; John was like a father to you at 27. He's now close to 70. That means he was like a father to you about 40+ years ago.
Now, if we subtract that from your current age of 18, that means you were about negative 22 years old when John was acting daddy. Is that about right? I was never very good at word problems.

Oops. Almost forgot to say "Norton"!

Click to expand...

No Nathan,
John never acted "daddy" as you put it. He was our mentor in all things British (except my Hillman Minx, he didn't like it at all).
I was 17 turning 18 in 1972. Then went into the time warp.
Last September I just turned 18. It was a very looooong year.
Jenny is close behind me aged 16. Also referred to as madam butterfly
by the lads at the pub.
My Norton is brand new, not built yet for another three years.
Jenny and I (when she is here) live on a grassy north facing hill
looking over the little village of Mittagong. Known as Hobbit Hill.
If I have a few too many at the pub (never these days) I send the
Norton home on its own, it knows how to find Hobbit Hill. Jenny
picks me up in the Hillman which I took to the scrap heap 40 yrs ago.

I don't think I understand just what is confusing you?

You sit up front of an aluminium can at nearly 40,000ft for more than
two decades, and see if you stay sane!!

Thank you Hobot.
Good stuff and very interesting pictures.
I take it that is you on left with your mate?

Pretty part of the world. Jenny would like to visit it.
And meet the famous Hobot I have told her all about.

Phil

You're wrong Phil. Hobot is the good looking one.

hobot said:

Click to expand...

I thought Hobot was a motorbike.
Ridden by Emma Peel.
Now I'M confused.

And I didn't see anyone or anything good looking in the photo.

Sorry Hobot, I'd go out with you.
But I live in Australia.

dennisgb said:

phil yates said:

Chris simply was not cut out for riding fast motorcycles. Doing or trying to do the Kwaka Mach III road test, I have a picture of him looking terrified at 5mph.

Click to expand...

If he was trying to turn, then looking terrified was valid...straight lines only on a Mach III

Pretty funny that a guy who was supposed to test motorcycles was such a sissy. Especially when we were all out there doing crazy stuff on our bikes...things we would never even think of trying today (well some of us anyway...Hobot).

Click to expand...

Chris was a real Nancy Boy, a Sooky La La. If Les would let me, I'd send in his test of the Lambretta which apparently had provision for his apples, which he loved eating when riding. Maybe another time.

None of these guys had any serious riding experience. The editor owned a Honda 175cc. Chris owned nothing (as I recall).
Four Wheels saw the potential for a bike magazine and grabbed the two office shit kickers to head it up. Or so it seemed. Just so happened one of them owned a tiny 175cc. How they ever graduated to testing Commandos, Honda 4's, Mach III's etc beggars belief. Well, Chris didn't. The closest he came was sitting on a Rocket Three with his left leg hidden behind the front wheel, to make it look like he was moving.

Apparently he fell off anyway, forgetting to put the side stand down!

Yep me on Wes's cafe'd '71 HyRyder I don't think he'll ever let me ride again. Wes in middle on a '69 Bonnie he litterally sweet talked a woman out of piecing this and that out of sheds of divorce left overs. Rich Stone of Iowa and Baxter's Cycle restorer 850 long distance titanium butt, wear out a tire on weekend leg out and another on leg back home. I met Rich as dusk set in our village square skid pad with many inches of cords showing and about to just head out 900 miles home but I called Wes who put him up and switched tires for him while he slept. We had to talk him out of ridding down during our last ice storm when even chains didn't always cut it.

Wesley at ease at rally a 1000 miles away from here.


Thanx. A bit improper syntax to type my handle in Capitis Diminutio Media style when Capitis Diminuto minima would do w/o bothering lifting extra finger to ever capitalize. I once was CAPITALIZED on by US Inc. but not since the last rising of The Republic of Texas. Decided I might not have that long to live so dropped out into fantasy Dixieland while still young enough to take the beatings but not so old to reason my way off of cycles forever more. Many decades ago i [note i means still has head on] gave back driver license before they could take it from me, before the use of 'uterized data bases so can't find anything on me. Last no DL ticket, w/o any other probable cause charges, was dismissed but not till I got judge upset starting at me like I was crazy telling him I did not qualify for DL as not resident nor a citizen to next instant sat back in his chair dumbfounded as bailiff comes in shaking his head and waving some papers saying " I can't find any thing on him".

Ya know with all the teasing at the Liberace of test rider I think the show down leathers on Ms Peel will be white with chrome studs like Elvis to rub a very deep point Keith Code of Superbike Corner School would chide us with,
"have fun and keep your leathers pretty..."

How many of ya get this far out of line with leathers still looking good?

Evidence of some my impressions of THE Gravel.