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robs ss

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Well - this really takes the cake! ...from today's Brisbane Courier Mail
Soon we'll be vying with Oxford and Cambridge for the degree of lunacy in PC speak.
They should hunt down the initiators and fire the bastards!
(sorry! to be more political the correct - the motherless wankers!!!)
Now, how confused are adopted kids going to be with both Mum & Dad to be called "Non-Birthing Parent"!
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robs ss

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...and yes, I did put it in the appropriate thread, as it really is a joke.
 

Fast Eddie

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Well that’s burst a bubble.

Our academic classes are rife with this sort of pathetic self serving virtue signalling nonesense.

I though you folk down there were above all this shit.

Sad.
 

Fast Eddie

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Makes one wonder how the human species, and in fact all life on earth, has managed thus far in the misguided notion of gender...

And if it’s not your belief in nature that ignites your fury at this nonsense, I’ll go religion instead: Who’s gonna tell God the bible is ‘wrong’ and needs re-writing using gender neutral pronouns...?!

Adam and Adam in the garden of Eden...:rolleyes:
 
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Mind you, I'd guess spelling will improve??
Over here (UK) pre-school protocol was to allow kids to make: 'Mother's Day' cards, but not: 'Father's Day' cards as for many children 'Father' was AWOL....
Now it'll be: 'Gestational Parent Day' cards, perhaps? Though of course that would be discriminatory against those who adopt of either (I'll stick with two at the moment) gender.
Go down the: 'Non-Binary' route and the permutations are endless :)
 
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Can't remember where I read it, but the one comedian's maxim is: 'When all else fails, hit 'em with a knob gag.' So..... An excellent example courtesy of Rik Mayall (RIP)

Why did the pervert cross the road???

'Cos he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken...
 

ashman

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Well they can call it what ever they want, as for myself I will be still using the words I have always spoken, tits, boobs, boob milk for the babies, I will always call my father, dad and my mother, mum (both no longer alive or should I call it the unbreathing) political correctness gone mad from all these highly educated over paid idiots who have nothing better to do, so many names have changed from products that some have got upset over the original name of the products, my brother lives in Blacktown in Sydney west, how long will it take to upset the natives before they change that name, same as the word gay it had a different meaning in days gone by, the list goes on but I will not change in what I been taught and to the people who get upset about words, go fu.k yourself (not sure what other words I could use to express that one).
To many penis with ears around (dickheads) in this changing world, I am who I am and I speak the way I have always spoken and if I upset anyone, who gives a flying sh.t.

Ashley
 

rwalker28

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So this guy get caught cheating on his taxes for the 5th time, and the government prosecutes him. The jury finds him guilty, and the judge says: "OK, Mr. Watson, you have been found guilty and I sentence you to 5 years in the penitentiary."
The guys starts freaking out because he is a little skinny guy, and he tells the judge "No, no, I am terrified of going to jail, look at me, I wont last there."
And the judge tells him "You should have thought about that when you did this crime repeatedly....go."
So the guy goes to jail.
The guard at the prison is taking him to his cell, and says "Oh man, all we have left is a room with Big Bad Bubba, good luck, buddy." It is his worst nightmare.
So he gets put in the cell and Bubba is a huge dude. He says to the guy "OK, lets get this straight from the get go. You want to be the husband, or you want to be the wife?"
After the guy just about faints, he thinks, well, maybe i got a glimmer of hope here... and replies in a squeaky voice "Ummm, well,...uh... let's see, how about I am the husband?"
And Big Bad Bubba just smiles and says "Fine with me, now get over here and suck your wife's c*ck."
 
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A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital.
She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who
can tell me how a patient is doing ?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the
name and room number of the patient ?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,
"Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check
with the Nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her Nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.
Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal
and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried.
God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter ?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells
me shit !!"
 
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Blond Irish Wife,
On a bitterly cold winter morning an Irish husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through”. So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through”. The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park….” Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?”
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time”?
 
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Another one for the grandchildren

Eating in the 1950s & 1960s

Pasta was not eaten in UK, Australia or N.Z.

Curry was a surname.

A takeaway was a mathematical problem.

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

All potato crisps were plain; the only choice we had was
whether to put the salt on or not.

Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.

Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days and was regarded as being
white gold. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sashimi.

None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognised food.

"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.

Prunes were medicinal. Also Castor Oil and Senna Tea.

Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing
stock!!

But the one thing that we never ever had on our table

" Elbows or Phones
 
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There was a guy who appeared on stage at the Benalla Performing Arts Centre. He was wearing a really disgusting hat which had been made out of a real fox. Apparently he had phoned his mother ans asked her what he should wear during his performance. After he had told her where he was, his mum told him to wear that hat.
 

DogT

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Blond is walking alongside the canal. Looks over and sees another blond on the other side. Yells over, 'How do you get to the other side?' Other blond yells back 'You are on the other side'.
 

robs ss

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Similar to your's Al...

Prince Charles was invited, during his Australian tour, to officially open the Yeppoon Show.
While he was getting ready to go on-stage the local Mayor couldn't help noticing Charles was wearing one of those fox-skin, Davy Crocket type hats. When he asked Charles about it, Charles explained "It was Mummy's idea. When I told her of my being asked to open the Yeppoon show - she said 'wear the fox hat!'"

"Where the f###s'" that? (for the blondes - on the other side of the canal) - it's better spoken that written!
 
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A man, who is just married, is flying to Florida Keys for a business trip. His new bride is to accompany him the next day. When he gets there, he e-mails his wife to let her know he made it there safely. When he sends the e-mail, he mistypes the address.
In Boston, a grieving widow, whose husband has recently passed away, receives the e-mail. She reads it, screams, and faints. Hearing her grandmother’s cry, the widow's 18 year old granddaughter runs into the living room to see the computer on, with a message that reads:
“Dear love, I just got here. Preparing for your arrival tomorrow. Can't wait to see you.
Love,
Me.
P.s. Sure is hot down here."
 
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